You hear it all the time. “What motivates you?” “My kids. I want them to have a better life than I had.”
We wait for kids to come into our life to motivate us to be better and provide for them. Why? Why do you have to look to your child for extrinsic motivation? I think intrinsic motivation is important absolutely , but I also think we can find extrinsic motivation from society rather than just our children. AND why can’t we want to be great for OURSELVES prior to kids coming into the picture? By making yourself valuable, you can help others and be of value to them as well.
Kids aren’t the only way to have a positive contribution to society. As I mentioned, we USE KIDS as a motivator because we want to provide them with a better life than we had… We put their priorities before our own and do what we think is best to make them happy. This is great, and I am definitely not bashing the thought of having kids or providing them with a good life. That is essential for the human race. However, I do have an issue with the lack of motivation to have an impact on others prior to having kids.
My first thought goes to entrepreneurs or those highly invested in the educational institution. They seem to be so invested in research or creating a product/service that they have trouble making time for kids and/or family. It is too much of a commitment from their perspective. However, maybe entrepreneurs have a collectivist mindset and view society as their “children” (opportunity for contribution) wanting to provide a good/service or do research as a means to create a better future and happiness for everyone. I am not saying everyone should become an entrepreneur or researcher, but I am saying maybe we should not view the outcome of our personal interest (bringing our own child into the world) as the only way to be motivated to be better.
A side note observation… When we have kids, we see them as a way to make an impact on the future of the youth. However we also think they’re a direct reflection of us, which they are, but we get too concerned of our own ego and how they represent us rather than letting the child be who they want to be. This can also be an issue. We must be careful that we do not detract from the originality of the child and letting them live to fully express themselves so they CAN make their impact on society. There is beauty in authenticity and imagination of a child. Please do not limit them and hold them back from what they can become.
We all want to be good people and live a happy life, but I don’t think we have to look to having kids as the only opportunity to give back to society. And we DEFINITELY shouldn’t wait for the moment when we have kids to be motivated to improve ourselves and create a better society for the future. Finally, when you do decide to bring children into this world, make sure you empower them to live up to their potential. As a matter of fact, we should ALL empower one another to live up to our own potentials. Go get after it.
“Stay curious, stay creative, stay hungry.”
#LeaveYourMark #DeNovoTribe #ChangeYourMindset